Lindsay Parks Photography » welcome

{Kindergarten} Harford County, Maryland Portrait Photographer

The last time I wrote my sweet, sweet girl a letter was the week before her little brother was born. I was terrified of losing her, confusing her, or at 21 months old, her not truly understanding that I was doing this for her, for us as a family….and that I loved her so much.

I feel similar as I write this as she starts her first day of public school kindergarten. The “losing her” part most of all…because, well, I will. Physically I definitely will. She will be gone over twice as long as she was any year that she spent in pre school. She will be spending all of that time with someone else. When I was teaching first grade (in my former life), I marveled at the fact that I saw these sweet children more than their parents did on a weekly basis. How important I was to them! I took that job very, very seriously, and my goal was to make that year, that TIME with them, beautiful for the kiddos in my class.

Now I find myself aching to make every second with my daughter as beautiful as I can, because I feel the letting go. It’s inevitable. If I had to pick a metaphor, it truly is like holding onto a tiny hand and feeling it sweaty and slipping away very slowly, very gently…. It is sweet, but sad.

I am proud of who she is. A thinker. A lover. Quiet. Pensive….but a sponge. Empathetic. Silly (I swear…she is–the child does speak and laugh and act like any other 5 year old). She has a soft spot for tiny stuffed puppies and such and adores playing school and writing in her “journals.” She will love school. School will love her.

She has dimples at the corners of her nose that means she really thinks something is funny. Her hair is the curliest and most beautiful sight I have ever seen (and the rest of the world agrees). Her eyes are a gorgeous hazel color, but my favorite part of them is how she used to tell people she had “razzle” eyes by mistake. When something bad happens to her, or she gets hurt, she likes to ask, “Did that ever happen to you when you were a little girl?” so I can say yes, and she can feel better right away. Her earrings are clip ons that belonged to my dad’s mother, my Mimi. It makes her feel like a big girl, with the choice of deciding to take them off.

Now I sit here trying not to read “Someday” or “I Love you Forever” again just to get in that last good cry. I will be a strong Mama. Marlie has always taken “notes” from me, and right now she is excited and brave about her first day. Why shouldn’t I take notes from her for once?

To all of you moms out there, I know all of this resounds with you. We can do it for our kiddos.

I love you Mar. And…I will miss you. I really will. Your empty big girl carseat in the van is going to hit my heart pretty hard for those first few weeks. Jackson too.

I am PROUD of you. I am proud to be your mom. I love who you are. Don’t ever change.

Well, okay maybe just start talking louder? That’s it. 😉

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  • Tina Mackey - It is so hard, and she will love every minute of it (til about November when the excitement starts wearing off:)Be brave for her, and enjoy your time with Jackson. PS- I LOVE her school shoes!ReplyCancel

  • Mimi Harris - It’s both a sad and exciting time. She will make new friends and those friend’s parents will be your new friends as well. Your whole world changes and it’s so much fun! Enjoy every minute of kindergarten! She is such an adorable little girl, and, I can’t get over how much Ella and Marlie look alike! Tears are okay, but SMILE!ReplyCancel

  • Amanda - Thanks Linds for making me cry!!! HAHA!!! That is so sweet, and I cant stop crying. She is one lucky girl:) Let us know how her first day goes! I will be thinking of her…..and you of course!!!ReplyCancel

  • Jackie Parks - Ok, now I am crying! We love you Mar and know you will have a great first day and we can’t wait to hear all about it! Love you tons!! xoxo!ReplyCancel

  • Courtney - Oh Lindsay you just made me cry… being in the infant stage with my two is exhausting and I yearn for when they are more interactive, but this just made me realize I should not wish their lives away!! I love the pics of her (as usual) 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Jen C. - This made me ball. Seriously, Bella is here with me…she said, “you ok, Mommy?” Beautiful post, Lindsay….I’m sure I will feel the same next year. xoReplyCancel

  • Pam Awalt - Wow…this is amazing to read…I remember following the school bus with my Anni Oh in it, crying my eyes out! Her first day of school and away from me five days a week for half the day. I followed that bus for the entire first week of school, watched her walk to her classroom, standing tall. I even have a video of it and me crying, choked up words to boot. =)
    Marlie is a sweet, beautiful, kind soul of a little girl. I knew that the minute I met her<3ReplyCancel

  • Leslie Cain - Well, the photos are stupendous and yes, I am crying as I type this! But as I always say…the best is yet to come! And I can’t wait to experience it with you!ReplyCancel

  • Jess - Aw Linds! This is soooo super sweet! I love your letter! And of course the pictures are adorable because she is a beauty and because you rock!ReplyCancel

  • Janice - That is just beautiful Linds! Marlie is so lucky to have you as a mommy; you have done a wonderful job raising her to be the sweet girl that she is. I could cry just thinking of putting Andrew on that bus…in 4 years! The next few days may be tough, but her teacher is going to LOVE her, so take comfort in knowing she will be taken care of. Lots of love and if you need anything, I’m a phone call away! 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Gina - Oh Lindsay, you got me with the first sentence. This is the sweetest thing I have ever read and yet it broke my heart for you…for all of you sweet mom’s out there with “babies” heading off to be big girls and boys. Good luck to the little ones and good luck to the mom’s. The pictures are absolutely gorgeous…and so is your sweet Marlie!ReplyCancel

  • Krista - Wow – you did it to me again! The thought of the empty carseat really got me! Beautiful tribute to a beautiful little lady…you and Jason have done such a good job nurturing and loving her and you’re right – she’ll love school and school will love her. Can’t wait to hear all about it! xoReplyCancel

  • Kristin Chmura - Oh my Linds! Tears… Marlie and Jackson are very lucky to have you as a mommy! xoxoReplyCancel

  • Lesley - Crying! I hope she has a great dayReplyCancel

  • Grandmar - Seeing Marlie start school brings back lots of memories of putting her daddy on the school bus for his first day of kindergarten. It touches my heart seeing my firstborn’s firstborn growing up so quickly! Such a sweet little girl. Poppy and I are so proud of her.ReplyCancel

  • Kellie - Love these, you are amazing and so is she! It is hard to believe she is such a shy little bug!ReplyCancel

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